I watch the movies all by myself.

Friend: Ana, do you want to watch this new movie?

Me: Oh, I don’t go to the movies.

Friend: I’m sorry. What?!

Me: Yeah yeah, I download every new movie via torrents and watch them all by myself.

Friend: You make me sad.

Me: No, I’ve a reason.

And I start explaining to my friend why..

It’s a lovely day. I’m at the movies. The lights dim down and this clip starts playing on the screen. Everyone’s quiet and busy watching what’s about to happen. I’m too into the scene and all my ears and on those dialogues. Everything’s fine until my friend pops up at every interval..

Friend: What did he say now?

*after a few minutes*

Friend: Hey, who’s the mother?

*the very next second*

Friend: Do you happen to know her name? OMG! She’s wearing a pink gown. You know I have the exact same..

Me: *glaring at my friend*

Friend: Umm, what?

Me: I’m trying to watch a movie here. 😐

*after a few minutes*

Friend: What did she say now? Why is she going after him?

*after a few minutes*

Friend: *poking at my arm* What did he say? What did he say? *giggles*

Me: *about to explode but then I calm down* I’ll explain it to you later.

*almost at the climax scene when the guy is trying to tell the girl something and..*

Friend: Hey! I’ll just go to the washroom.

Me: Will you SHUSH?!

Man at the back: Will you two girls SHUSH?!

My friend was louder than the movie. Every once in a while people kept staring at us which made me uncomfortable. I even tried sending her to get a pack of popcorns but she came back really fast. 😐

Sometimes, when I take a friend who happens to have watched the movie already and keeps dictating the next scene, I feel like stabbing that person.

So, I decided to never go to the movies and rather watch them at home. We ordered this movie on our cable and my parents were watching it with me.

Dad: *right in the middle of a dialogue scene* I knew this scene was coming up. What bad direction! I can write a script myself!