Relax, I’m not a topper. I’m glad I’m not. You wanna know why? There are some crazy species out there. They know what their
ultimate penultimate aim is and they work towards it. Well, these people are the reason why you see yourself far away from the top 10, top 50 or worse top 100 in the list of best students or why you get that horrible yelling from your mother and you end up having an hour argument defending yourself and explaining as to why you cannot be compared to the coolest lamest topper kid in your class. They are also the reason why your open house days in school always sucked grease. They can be also blamed for your very fluctuating or let me call the famous ”CGPA” performance. Don’t be disheartened. There are millions who fear them. I’ll classify them in some categories that I’ve visualized the most in my life.
The Hard Workers – Oh, come on now. Did you really think I wouldn’t give you guys some respect? I respect you. I respect you a lot. In fact, I respect you till the point that I fail to respect you and find it difficult to believe that how do you manage to achieve such amazing performance in all your academics. You guys are the same who get interviewed by the media sometimes whenever you achieve the state or the city or the country champion award. To be honest that interview freaks me out. There’s a mention of ”no lights”, ”no food”, ”no coaching/guide/tuitions”, ”no resources/books”, ”no money” and sometimes ”no stationery items”. I’m not mocking you guys. I’m just saying that the motivation you guys get to study and reach the top position by hook or by crook is what is …I don’t know what. What pisses me off is you guys already win the first rank and after that the whole sympathetic story that goes on — like we’re supposed to feel bad for you that you went through all that hell. Why does every ranker have some or the other sad story out there? Is it not possible to get a good rank even if you come from a well-to-do family and have absolutely no hurdles at all? I believe it is the brain at work and not the other issues that leads you to the topmost position. Oh wait, you had a troublesome maid maybe? Nice try of using such stories to win a scholarship. It doesn’t work forever though.
Well, I guess then the saying of “Every winner has a tragedy behind it” must be true.
Exception – Some of you are geniuses. You automatically have the best-brains and understand a concept in a minute. Yeah, I envy you guys. It’s like what some people would like to call? A gift from birth. Wow, I must say that’s the best of deals. Or, is it?
The Vomiting Birds – Let me talk to you guys for a second. No offense but do you NOT have brains? I mean it must be pretty challenging and remembering every single
sentence word exactly the way it is written or depicted in the books/notes. I know some of you even remember the page numbers just in case by creating a photographic memory of the references in your mind. It’s like creating a virtual notebook in your head. It stays only till the exam. One question regarding what you studied after the exam and you act like an Alzheimer’s bird. What’s that about? Of course, it helps in getting the output — MARKS!
The All Rounder Freaks – You guys wanna be good at everything. When I mean everything, I mean everything. Topping in everything — right from maintaining a good body to being a good sports person to being an amazing artist to being a great academician to being a great what-not. Sometimes, you forget the part of being a good friend. Well, if you do, you would have to compromise and let your friends win sometimes too and you’re not going to let that happen eh?
The Hidden Miracles – Yes yes, I’ll call you guys miracles because you guys just HAPPEN to get good marks after acting all normal like the other students. I can count multiple things here.
Yes, you lie when you say you haven’t started studying
Yes, you lie when you say you haven’t understood anything
Yes, you lie when you say your paper went bad. — like seriously?!
Yes, you lie when you say you don’t know squat on the day of the exam
Dude, we know you’re studying your dash out at nights or during the day or whenever you find any free time. Probably, in the washrooms too. Although, that’s a little crazy. And to top it all, when the results come out, you act like it’s some sort of a miracle that just happened. What’s crazy is this miracle happens only to you guys over and over again. If asked genuinely, you guys respond by calling it a ”mistake”. I gotta tell you — that’s a well planned mistake.
The TMI birds – You always have to occupy or surround yourself with too much information. If we have one book assigned to us, you have to get hold of every reference book that leads to the subject. Be it a magazine, a website, a journal, a blog, a video — the maximum resources possible. You call it the knowledge gain? I call it plain crap. It’s just another way to manipulate and add extra dump in your exam paper to play around with the examiner’s head. The concept of ”the more the better” – it actually works with a lot of examiners. But there’s always going to be a debate about quality vs quantity.
Yes, I know bashed you all a lot and we can do all these things too to get good marks. I don’t need marks. Well, to be honest, I’m too lazy to do all these things that you guys do. 😐
P.S: I do respect those people who get good marks and never brag about it or how difficult it was for them to get in and help others to score better as well.