When I Went To Buy An iPhone

And did groceries instead. 

It’s a true story. I am caught up in the web of internet where I see beautiful, pretty pictures being clicked on social media and say to myself: I WANT THAT! One of those mornings when you wake up and have those impulse buying decisions and realize that you do not have the money to make your impulses come true. At this moment, there is no more than bread money in my card and I still thought why not go and get myself an iPhone? That’ll end my miseries. Oh boy, was I wrong!

So I get dressed and go to the store anyway

Store Lady: Excuse me ma’am, Can I help you with something?

Me: *busy looking around*

Store Lady: Ma’am?

Me: *turning around* Umm, yes I wanted to buy an iPhone.

Store Lady: Oh sure! Please have a seat.

I had no idea we needed to sit for this. Felt more like they were going to parade me with their collection of diamonds but I sat anyway.

Store Lady: You want the 7 or…*gets interrupted*

Me: Just show me the cheapest one you have.

Store Lady: We have some refurbished phones

Me: Sorry, what’s that now?

Store Lady: These are phones used by people for a small duration and then returned to the factory.

Me: Factory? Why? Did they use their iPhones to play break against the wall?

*she stares at me*

Me: Nevermind! So, I think I’ll go for a brand new one. Maybe the 6 for now. 32 gb should do. Something in silver?

Store Lady: Absolutely! How would you like to pay?

Me: *beaming proudly* I’ve got Mastercard.

Store Lady: Sorry, we don’t accept credit cards.

Me: What? Say that again?

Store Lady: Only local credit cards maybe. Not international credit cards. We accept local payments..

Me: *can feel my heart crashing* Yes yes, I hear you loud and clear.

Store Lady: Would you like to pay by cash?

*do I look like I have that much cash on me? I just put on my pyjamas and a tee on a weekend morning*

Me: Yeah, I think I’ll try to purchase one online. Thanks for your time.

And I ran out of there almost trying to compete with Bolt. I went to my happy place. The supermarket. Sometimes groceries can do wonders!

Mom’s handbag

Allow me to introduce you to my mother’s handbag. Well, it has everything except the thing that she or anyone else might be looking for. Oh, I know before I go on, you all will point it out to me saying, “Wait, a minute! We can’t find stuff in our own bags most of the times as well.”, but before you get there I wanted to mention a couple of stuff. One can literally find the most ridiculous objects in it.
Err, mom I promise I’ll keep your handbag’s privacy and I’m only going to talk about the items which are no less than irrelevant. A few hours ago, I had to search for Boroline. Yep, I know we Bengalis love it. As I went on looking for it in the drawers, table, top of the fridge shelf, bathroom closet and every possible place, I was unable to find it so I turned to the ultimate search guide: MOM! She asked me to look inside her bag and that’s when I knew that my search is about to get real wild. This almost convinced me to stop looking for the creme but she coaxed me to stop being such a lazy dull dud and forced me to search anyway. Aaaand here it goes!
Well, this is the weird part and it happens everytime. Whenever we go out and we’re looking for money or change or even the phone (I’ll come to this part later), she always ALWAYS ends up looking in the wrong section. I don’t know if the bag is onto her or it does that just to irritate her. Anyway, coming back to the point, I started searching – Now, this bag has four sections (the first zip, the middle zip, the last zip and the small zip at the back)
The first zip
As usual, like mom, I too start with the wrong section everytime. I keep digging and I find stuff like
empty medicine strips
threads
torn pieces of paper with NOTHING written on it
hankies (2-3 of them)
keys (alright, this is relevant)
plastic bags (maybe relevant?)
small thin religious books (now that explains the uncontrolled heaviness)
No BOROLINE!
Moving on to the second zip
Lots of empty bottles of homeopathy meds. Empty? Damn! I could’ve popped some pills.
No BOROLINE!
Third zip and by now I almost lost it and gave a shoutout to my mom as well saying: There’s nothing in here!. She screams back: Keep looking! It’s gotta be there in a corner.
This section was surprisingly empty
Finally, the smallest zip at the back and this is where she chooses to keep the phone! And this is the part I wanted to talk about. If she EVER receives a call, there’s no way she’s going to be able to successfully find her phone till the last ring. She also missed the entire call and found the phone after the call converts into a missed call. But anyway, there was success here! I found my BOROLINE lying at a corner stuffed like a small teddy. Ooh, I found an adorable keychain in there as well..Wait, why am I talking about a keychain?
So, I found the stuff after searching the entire bag. Yes, you’d think that had I started the search with the smallest zip, this wouldn’t have been such a herculian task. Now, if you think about it, this kind of highlights Murphy’s law a bit.
On a very very serious note to all my invisible lovely readers out there: I’m so sorry. I’ve been off the radar blog for a while now.